July 15th, 2020

I FEARED THE GRIEF WOULD KILL ME. In truth, grief held the gold. Each tear became a river and I learned to surrender into its flow. I now ride along its tranquil water enjoying the magic scenery as I go. I cried for a very long time. I cried for all the losses in my childhood, the death of loved ones, two broken marriages and untold relationships. I cried for the lost career opportunities, the years lost to addiction and finally I cried for the loss of my Self. I am at peace now, the anxiety that pounded in my Heart was just the pain I didn't allow a space for. It held my most precious gift and I ran from it in fear. I didn't die, I gave birth to my magnificent free Self.
~Eileen Dielesen

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