STEP 7 of 12 Steps to Loving the Self:
"Through our full commitment to loving ourselves, we confidently realised that we had restored ourselves to integrity."
A Step 7 story:
IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO UNGROW! The magic way a child sees the world tends to fall away as we grow up and go into survival mode and think about making money. I had to hit the wall hard before I woke up to the Truth that life offers me miracles when I let go of all the conditioned ideas, thoughts and beliefs about survival. Yesterday I was at the park with my young grandson enjoying a little game with him and being delighted by his squeals of laughter. Another young boy was watching with interest as his mother was busy chatting to a friend. I invited him to join in the game. I decided to show him a wonderful 'trick' where I went to one end of the park and he stayed at the other end where there is a pipe that goes underground and you can talk/sing to each other at a distance. Oh the pure delight of this young boy and mine as we played. The mother and her friend said to me: "We'll see you in a while after we've done our shopping and had a massage!" I was the privileged and lucky one - having a totally wonderful time in JOY! To be given this gift of seeing through the eyes of my innocent child spirit and being FREE to PLAY again, well I wish I could give that gift to everyone, for then we would have Heaven on Earth. You know it's written in the bible: "Except ye become as little children, ye cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven." Matthew 18:3 So gooooooo on - go play today and let go of worry about how you will survive. Life will look after you if you surrender to your Spirit.
~Eileen Dielesen (copyright 5.4.2018)
STEP 6 of 12 Steps to Loving the Self:
We made a list of all the parts of ourselves that did not feel worthy of Love, and we made a decision to love them.
I BELIEVE IN ANGELS.....Oh what JOY it was to sing and play the ukelele today together with my young Sissy. Okay, we are not the best at this and the whole point is that you don't have to be....you just have to do what makes your Heart sing and let your Heart sing to others. A few years ago I decided that I was judging myself for not being a good singer and yet I LOVED to sing. It made my Heart feel such JOY. Then began a journey of healing where my Inner Voice of Love guided me to sing to complete strangers! They were so touched that they nearly always cried. Some people had never been sung to as a child and it was a gift (yes my bad singing was a gift because it was filled with LOVE. LOVE doesn't have to arrive in perfect form!) Wow, I was healing my Heart of its judgement. It's the thing you LOVE that makes it possible to grow IN LOVE and share the deep LOVE that you are. This is a favourite song of Abba's that I am now so happy to have the music to play it and practise it. Gooooooo on sing!
~Eileen Dielesen (copyright 3.04.2018)
I walk into a cafe with a friend today and sit down. I find myself singing out aloud the 'Lollipop' song. The woman sitting at the table next to us says: "That song brings back memories of the lollipop trees in the area where we used to live." She tells me they had trees that looked like lollipops and they used to sing that song all the time. I look at the menu and decide not to eat there. As I leave the cafe she mentions my singing the song again and I said: "I have no idea why that song came into my mind." To my utter surprise she says; "It's probably spiritual". "Yes!" I say and go on to tell her how I went through a period in recent years of being guided to sing songs that would come into my mind, to different people. I told her they nearly always were deeply touched and would cry about 95% of the time. I notice a tiny tear in her eyes and I give her a big hug. She breaks into a beautiful smile that allows years to fall away from her face and makes her look almost like a child. She says she believes in God and then says that maybe your song is a message telling me I should go home. I touch her on her Heart and say: "You are already home and that is the message". She says; "Maybe you should have stayed and had your lunch here". I say "No, I only came to sing that song and give you this message".
I am not a mind reader, I just live in the ONE mind that we all share and am in tune with my Inner Spirit. To live this way brings me great happiness and I feel nothing but JOY! Happiness is not in people, places, things or anything of this world. It comes from following your very own Spirit and setting it free. In the past I perhaps would not have allowed myself to sing out aloud for fear of being told I can't sing. Therefore my beautiful Spirit could not reach out and extend LOVE in the perfect way it wanted to express through my body. My imperfect song singing has touched many hearts with LOVE and that has opened my own Heart and brought me a happiness that cannot be measured in terms of the world. This is FREEDOM!
It has been a crazy making couple of days because I knew in my Heart that my bike search was not flowing. I have written an inspirational quote sometime ago:
"If it doesn't flow, let it go!"
Ahhhhh, but the mind can be so resistant and insist on having its own way like a petulant child! I went to a big department store and none of their bikes felt 'right'. So I went home and looked online at the bikes on offer at another department store. I took myself to the store yesterday and went away feeling crazy! I was told by a staff member that the bike on the rack was the last one available and that the next 'batch' were these bright orange bikes. I was shocked because they were a totally different brand and design. I told the staff member that it was not the same bike and she insisted that it was the same bike under a different brand. I went home looked it up online and discovered it was a totally different bike with a much cheaper price tag. I 'knew' that I had to let this store go.....but nooooooooo, the little ego 'I' wanted THAT BIKE ON THE RACK but new in a box. So I rang another branch of this store in the next town where was heading out to today for another appointment. First thing in the morning I received a text message from my daughter and after some discussion told her I was buying THAT BIKE today. She asked for an online link to it and I sent it to her. She sent me a link to another sports store in my own town telling me she'd seen a similar bike yesterday for $100 less. I 'knew' in my Heart that it was clear guidance for me and that was my bike. But again noooooooooooo, the ego wanted THAT BIKE ON THE RACK but new in a box. As I drove to the next town for my appointment, I decided I would go the department store and see if that bike was available. Same deal, nothing flowed. The staff member was completely uneducated about bikes and the one I wanted wasn't available but she said they were expecting one to be delivered today. So I said I would phone back on my way out. I made the phone call later and that is when everything went crazy in my mind and I watched as the peace seeped away as I began verbally attacking the shop assistant on the phone when she told me the delivery wouldn't be coming until late in the evening. After making a list of complaints about the poor service I saw that the little 'I' had completely taken over my mind and wanted to be right and make this store and its staff wrong! That's when I decided to terminate the phone call and say thank you to the woman. I got up went to my car and listened to my 'inner wise one' directing me to look at another bike shop on the way back. I did and there was absolutely no service - it didn't flow and I left. I headed on to the store where the bike my daughter suggested was. I walked in and saw a whole row of these bikes at a higher price than it was listed online. A lovely young man came to serve me and he checked the price and told me I would get it for the online listed discount. Not only that, but these bikes did not require assembling like the ones in the other department stores. (A huge relief for this not so handy woman!) Then I chose which one I wanted and he went out of his way to move the bikes and get the one I wanted. I thanked him for his good service. When he got the bike out I noticed the handle bars were not quite straight and he got the bike mechanic to come and adjust it for me. The two men were so helpful asking if I wanted anything else adjusted and the seat was adjusted at my request. I was so happy I thanked them both profusely. The young shop assistant said he would help me get it into my car. He helped me lay down the back seats and he tried a few times to get it in, but it was too big. Across the car park was a couple with a utility who had just loaded a bike on and the man shouted out: "Where are you going?" I told him where I lived and he said that it too far in the opposite direction. We struggled some more trying to get the bike in when I finally said: "It's not going to fit." My inner wise one said: "Ask the man with the ute if he would take $20 for petrol to deliver your bike". I boldly asked him and he smiled and said: "Okay". He followed me home and unloaded my bike. I told him and his wife the story of how I had not let go when things didn't flow and they were my two angels today. The man responded: "I was surprised that I offered to help you, because I don't normally help people"!!!!! I laughed. I said: "It's a miracle"! A miracle is a change in the mind which is reflected in the world. When I changed my mind and decided to listen to my "inner wise one" instead of acting on my little 'I' ego voice, everything flowed beautifully and I just felt so much love from everyone serving me. Another lesson in being vigilant and not letting the little 'I' ego run my life. Resistance to the guidance of my "inner wise one" just causes me untold misery, pain and suffering and basically is a waste of time and energy!
What a blessing it is to be fully myself and have the freedom to say what is in my mind and heart to those 'strangers' I meet along my life's journey. I rather see everyone as friends I haven't yet met! I boarded the bus and sat down opposite Jess who was wearing a badge that said: "VIP Vision Impaired Person". I was inspired to say to her: "Oh, all I saw was the VIP on your badge and I thought: Very Important Person". We laughed and then two other woman sitting behind joined in the JOY! We chatted all the way to the train station about vision. We started playing with the VIP and decided to change its meaning after having a deep discussion about what true vision is! By the time we arrived at the train station it was agreed that it should stand for Very Impowered Person. Jess had such a beautiful positive attitude telling us that to stop herself from feeling depressed, she accepted that her purpose in life was to educate people about 'blindness'. Honestly, I truly believe that true blindness is to not see from your Heart. We chatted about vision and how we all really only have perception and what our human eyes see is only the meaning we put onto something. That is not really seeing at all. I told Jess that her blindness offered her an opportunity to go deeper into her Heart and have 'inner seeing'. At the train station one woman left to catch another bus and then I found myself sitting on the train with Jess on one side and Amanda on the other. The inspiring conversation continued for another 30 minutes until they left the train, but not before Jess turned and gave me a big hug and then I offered one to Amanda. I felt like the richest woman in the world to have been touched with the Love of these woman and to have the priceless freedom to allow my Heart to speak. If I had not followed the inner prompt of my Heart, I would have missed the heartfelt JOY that arose in my mind and Heart. True vision is to follow your Heart in every instance. My Heart needs sunglasses in moments like this, because it shines so very bright!
~Eileen Dielesen (copyright 4.11.2017)
I found myself drawn to a dress shop in the factory outlet complex and as I walked in, a beautiful young woman behind the counter greeted me with a very friendly hello. She smiled a smile at me that lit up the whole room. I was delighted and told her that it was so lovely to be welcomed like that on a Friday! She told me her name was Laura and that she was going home early and going away on a holiday. I asked her how long it would take to get to her destination and who she was going with. She mentioned her dog and three children and I asked if she had a partner. She told me that her ex-husband was coming with them and he was her best friend. Oh how my heart lit up to hear these sweet words. I exclaimed how wonderful it was to hear that and her smile lit up my heart again. She told me that so many people did not think it was a wise thing for her to be friends with her ex-husband. She said that he would often stay overnight and sleep in her son’s bedroom. I guess that is why she did not initially mention to me that he was going, thinking perhaps that I might judge her ability to decide what is best in her own life. I thought it was absolutely wonderful! Where there is LOVE there is LIGHT. This was another beautiful reminder to let go of the idea that I know what is best for anyone. To accept others ability to make their own decisions without any influence from me is a blessing. Why would I want to judge someone who is creating LOVE in her relationship with her ex-husband and letting her children witness that between their parents? What could be more beautiful than that! How do we transform wars in the world? We do it in our very own backyards. This couple are an amazing example of how we create peace on Earth! They are teaching their children how to live peacefully. She told me it wasn’t always like this and she and her husband had done some deep inner work to clean out their minds and hearts. That is so courageous and for that I am so grateful to them, because we are all connected in the heart.
I took a photo of her and told her how beautiful she was. Before I left I gave her a big hug and as I walked away I said: “I guess I didn’t come in here to look for clothes after all!” When I follow the guidance of my heart, I end up having incredible encounters that bring me JOY. It was a true JOY to meet a single mother who remains best friends with her ex-husband. When parents separate it does not have to mean that the children will suffer. Children do really well and adjust easily if their separated parents can remain friends. May I always remember to let go of what I think is best for others and to simply see with eyes of LOVE, non-judgement and acceptance. This is my contribution to peace on Earth.
~Eileen Dielesen (copyright 16.10.2017)
The last stop at the Stretch Art Festival in Mandurah was the most MAGIC MOMENT. It came to bring me a message from the Divine that arose from my very own Heart. I was given an ipod to listen to a message and the voice asked me how old I would be in twenty years time. That would be 81 years young! I blurted it out aloud in response to the question from the track on the ipod! After listening to the first track, I was guided to take my shoes off and climb into the tiny little house on wheels. The doors were shut and I sat on the soft mattress on the floor and started playing the second track as my inner wonder child gazed around this magic space. I was invited to type a message to my future self about what my life would be like in 20 years time. Without a second thought I typed this message:
I was so happy to write those words. I have been procrastinating for years about writing a book. I love to write and have written so many inspirational blogs and messages. I want to put a lot of my writing together into a book. No, it will be books! The message to write a book has been given to me by so many people, but this message today, well it was so utterly beautiful. It was a sacred moment, a ceremony and deeply spiritual experience. It didn't end there. I spoke to the two beautiful young women who were facilitating the aMoment experience. My Heart danced with JOY to meet these gorgeous awakened women. They told me I would find a surprise later. It didn't find it to two days later and then I almost threw it away! Ahhhh, but what must come to be in your life, will be! I had got dressed and put on my shoes, looked down and noticed what I thought was a piece of material fluff caught on the buckle. I tried to brush it away, but it was firmly in the buckle. I pulled it out and noticed it was a rolled piece of paper with some string hanging off it. I walked towards the bin to throw it away, then noticed there was some writing on the little roll of paper. Curious inner child came out and I unrolled the paper to discover this:
To say I was awestruck would be an understatement. I had been struggling with my life and coming to the realisation that I had a wonderful life where I was brave enough to walk slow, value small things and remembering the big stuff. I am wise and so totally believe in people. I so wholeheartedly believe in these beautiful people who brought this Divine work of art into my life. Words fail miserably in expressing what is in my Heart. It is the experiences and the connections with others that matters so much in my life. I am so very rich in these and to be given this moment in time was a blessing that will stay in my Heart forever.
~Eileen Dielesen (copyright 10.05.17)
It all started on a train trip when my daughter showed me a website where they sold secondhand iphones. My phone was getting old and I saw an opportunity to get a cheap solution. I asked her to show me the site on her phone and as I went to look at it, everything went weird and her phone started playing up. She was concerned that her phone was malfunctioning. I told her with great conviction and inner knowing, that her phone was fine and these things happened as a way for my inner guidance to tell me this was not the solution for me. She gave me a small questioning smile to let me know she didn't buy into my 'spiritual beliefs'. Next day I went online and found the exact phone she had shown me and my fearful voice began its guidance! Finances are tight, this is a good solution. So I go with this voice and order the online phone. Then the 'fun' began - Hell on Earth! The phone arrives a few days later in poor condition, chipped on the casing and scratched, not at all as described. I was very disappointed and then began a back and forth email correspondence for several days to finally have them agree to give me a full refund. Very frustrating because you can't even phone them! My daughter reminds me of my guidance and wonders why I didn't listen. So do I! So I pack up the damaged phone mail it back and next day my phone 'dies'. I am cut off from everything as I do my internet and all calls from this phone. So I go out and buy a cheap phone. Well that is hilarious, as it comes with no instructions. I make about three trips out to get help to set it up! My stress levels rose and my peace disappeared down the sim card nightmare. I was in hell and the fires were burning stress thoughts in my mind!
Finally I go online and order a new phone (my initial loving inner guidance!). It arrives over a week later and I find it comes with an American electrical recharger! I am frustrated. I can't get the sim card in, so another trip to the phone shop. They are so helpful and support me to set it up. I am missing a lot of my contact numbers. I need to get the backup information on my old phone which began working again the day after I bought the cheap phone! It takes me many hours and then the phone doesn't have a sound when someone calls. My daughter helps me to get it working! Phew, exhausted. Then the day arrives to go and spend a day with my family celebrating my birthday. It was a lovely day and I forget it is the day to recharge my pre-paid account! I wake up today on my birthday to find I have lost all my rollover credit. I try to phone the company and they have this new automatic system where they cut off my call and send me a text with information they think will answer my query. Finally after several phone calls I get through to a customer service person. After relaying my story, she tells me that she can't reinstate my lost credit. I stay peaceful and ask her to put me through to a supervisor. I ask the supervisor to please consider reinstating my credit because I have been having so much trouble with mobile phones and I never received their reminder text. We had a delightful conversation and he was so happy that I was being kind to him. I told him he was angel and I was so grateful. He said I was one too. How beautiful to remember our true nature and then I was in Heaven again. After the call I checked my account and found he had 'gifted' me not only by reinstating my lost credit, but giving me an extra 18GB of internet data! I wanted to cry with gratitude for this miracle. Love won in the end and I learned a valuable lesson to truly listen to my inner guidance and let go of the voice of fear! The miracle was simply a change in my mind to letting Love rule and Fear leave. What a wonderful birthday gift!
I found myself standing in front of a store that displayed some beautiful photos of incredibly amazing nature moments captured in time. For some reason I stepped in and began a conversation with the shop owner/photographer about the beautiful waterways of the area I live in. Into my mind came the thought that I should share a story about a letting go ritual I undertook several years ago in the area I lived in at that time. I undertook that ritual because I needed to let go of a painful relationship. I told the shop owner that I didn't often talk about this part of my life's story, but I felt to tell them. This inner wise voice knows who to share certain stories with and for a higher healing purpose that the little 'I' mind knows nothing about. I knew nothing about this beautiful person's past, but I had a strong hunch they would relate to my story. As soon as I mentioned the reasons why I had left this relationship, their eyes filled with tears. I silently gave thanks for the quiet voice of my Spirit that had guided me to share this story with them. They shared deeply about the pain of their childhood and the issues that tore their family apart. I felt truly humbled that they trusted me enough to share this painful part of their life story. As I left I looked back and made a comment about their beautiful Spirit who was on full display. I said that not everyone could see it, but I could see their Heart shining out through the exquisite images. The smile on their face lit up the spark of JOY in my own Heart and I felt like a thousand angels were dancing inside me. We transform our Hearts through the 'Dark Nights of our Soul', even if we don't know it. My gift in that moment was to see how beautiful that person's Heart was and how darkness can lead us back to the Light in unexpected ways. I left feeling so utterly blessed.
~Eileen Dielesen (05.04.2017)
My self esteem was fed by people loving me for what I gave them. I have now learned to say 'no'. I feel really empowered when I love myself enough to mother myself and I know that I gift everyone. People respect me more and I am only giving from a real Heart space of "YES I want to give to you because it feels good for me". If someone rejects me, then they were not a true and valuable friend and the space they leave will be filled with those who love and respect me. All I have to do is be mindful of taking care of my own happiness. If we all did that. it would be a wonderful world of happy people where no one would feel guilty for letting anyone down! We'd all be able to take care of our own happiness and respect each other. Ohhhh I DREAM......... Love from
~Eileen Dielesen (copyright 04.02.2017)
Eileen is always inspired by the voice of Love within her. May our hearts always be joined as ONE in Love and through the words that appear on these pages may you feel the light and Love she has for you.